I want to start a really pretentious coffee shop.
“Well, what would this pretentious coffee shop look like exactly?”
Well, thank you for asking: allow me to clarify.
First of all, everyone would wear turtlenecks. Black, skin tight turtlenecks.
Also, the coffee shop would have promotionals like “French Fridays” where everyone would speak french and serve croissants all day.
Baristas would never make eye contact with you and every time you placed a coffee order they would say something like “it comes like the wind…” and then quickly peer off into space with a palpable sense of sadness and ennui that can only be fully appreciated by the overeducated and underemployed.
I don’t know. Something like that. I haven’t really given it much thought.